The Silence That Kills

The silence demanded from a child after she is sexually attacked by someone within the family system is where the most harm comes, not from the sexual attacks. A child can recuperate from those with love, help and protection from any further attacks.

It is the silence most children are forced to bear to keep the family safe from shame which kills, figuratively and literally. The family’s shame is too great, greater than the survival of the child. This mistaken belief, that all must be kept quiet to keep the family’s name and unit together needs to radically change to save our children.

Society would not approve, and that must reverse. We as a society must face that this crime occurs and occurs at an alarming rate within families; one of every four girls and one in every six boys.

Forced into silence at an early age, containing horrors that traumatize, a child grows into adulthood mute only knowing how to please others. She is sensitized to the feelings of others not knowing her own or even if she has a right to have them.

It is a constant effort to go down deep and access what is really there because it is still very much a mystery to me. I remind myself daily that I have the freedom and the right to have my own thoughts, views and feelings.

I could have healed and moved on from the sexual attacks when a child. My belief is that an entire family can heal and move on. But only if the attacks are brought to light along with one(s) committing them.

The child should never be alone with the attacker again. All in the family have the freedom to talk about it and to show anger toward the attacker but compassion for the child. Family and individual therapy must be provided.

Compassion for the child must supersede all else. Others are taught to love her even more and protect her from further damage. Then they are taught to work to forgive the attacker(s) but to never forget and always remain vigilant. 

It was the silence demanded that took away everything I had. My body was taken, and from that I could recuperate, it was the silence that took everything else.

Note: I name all childhood sexual abuse as attacks even though the crimes are usually committed manipulatively and quietly. Each one is a heinous, serious assault on a child’s mind, body and spirit.

21 thoughts on “The Silence That Kills

  1. Well written post on child sexual abuse. It’s so important that when a child comes to an adult about the abuse, they are believed, and shown empathy. That’s what happened in my case, and it becomes a betrayal and trust issue for the rest of your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m guessing you left out the word not? As in, That’s not what happened in my case? And if so, I appreciate your sharing and am sorry that happened.
      Yes it does present life-time challenges. Thank you for commenting and the reblog.


  2. Everything you’ve written as to how abuse should be dealt with and how it can be healed when one is still a child, it just makes me so sad that you never got that. You deserved to be able to heal, to not be silenced, to be protected and believed and loved. You deserved all of that and so much more. I’m so glad you have found your voice on and won’t be silenced again. 💟

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yup. Been there and done that. Well said.

    In my case, the attacker was my brother, only two years older than I. My mother was mentally ill and my father didn’t have the skills, knowledge, or the help to manage things well at all. He did the best he knew and was even doing therapy, but he swore everyone to secrecy because he was terrified of losing his business and the ability to provide for his family. That terror superseded everything for him. And the therapist he was using didn’t have the skills or ability to help my father or my mother (who were both using the same man) much at all. The psychiatrist I saw caused me more emotional trauma than if I’d never seen anyone. And I have no idea if my brother’s therapist helped him very much. I doubt it, based on how he is today.

    So thankful I discovered energy healing. I’m a very different person today because of it. Too bad my brother’s not into healing his wounds. He’s so disconnected from himself, that he doesn’t even know how damaged he still is.


  4. Reblogged this on Journey2Free and commented:
    I could not have said this any better or agree more therefore I MUST repost! A PERFECT follow up to an earlier post I made. If only we could make the majority understand the damning effects of silencing a child that have been sexually abused. Parents! Families! Support the child/children begin the process of healing and restoration immediately! The family will be ok, the child however will be subjected to lifelong hurt and pain beyond what the average mind can comprehend. Reassign The Shame to the perpetrators. Protect our children!! Thank you Patricia.

    Liked by 1 person

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