The difficulty is moving past the barriers built up in childhood; clenched shoulders, tense muscles, walls to the interior where the spirit resides… like a football player all suited up, my armor against a dangerous world, the people in it.

But then it becomes a way of being, even when alone, or enjoying the beauty of nature, though ‘mother’ helps unwind the tight sinews and opens pathways… perhaps when grasses blowing rheumatically swaying like hula dancers while resting creek-side.

That defensive position against real bodily attacks as a child has made living not much worth living. How I came so far is a miracle, or a testament to will and strength. But also due to others who loved me through my inability to trust; Samuel, friends, my sons and grand-children.

There are those where barriers can be lowered, but never gone. There they are, tight, holding taught against upcoming hits. Let the shoulders drop, take a breath. Release, unwind, relax.