I have published a book about the sexual abuse I experienced in childhood at the hands of brothers; how I survived, and how I found peace at last. I will post a free chapter each month on this blog until the entire book has been posted. I use a pseudonym only because it’s not about revenge but about healing, telling my truth, and finally lifting the unfair burden of shame. If you’d rather read it all at once, it’s available on Amazon: SHATTERED by Patricia J Grace.
BACK COVER
…Dad died and chaos ruled….
The only girl in a family of seven brothers, Patricia Grace found her childhood violently stripped away in the wake of her father’s death. Her brothers became tormentors, using their little sister as an outlet for rage and lust. Her mother, reeling with grief and fighting to raise eight children on her own, turned a blind eye to the abuse. Patricia learned to play the loving sister, desperate to maintain the illusion of happy family even as the shame festered inside.
Now, after decades of silence, she is telling her truth. ‘Shattered’ is the astonishing story of a girl coming of age in a house of secrets, and her battle as an adult to make peace with the past. Patricia relays her struggles with weight, depression, and self-esteem with searing honesty and rich emotional depth. Her unsparing prose paints an intimate portrait of courage and hope in the bleakest of circumstances. More than a memoir, ‘Shattered’ is a testament to the healing power of truth-telling and the resilience of the human spirit.
ABOUT ME
Hi! I’m an author, poet, artist, and photographer. I’ve heard it said that everyone has one good book inside of them. Mine erupted out of me with the help of my youngest son who needed to know the truth and had the strength to listen.
For the last ten years, I’ve lived in the country on a small plot of land near a creek with my husband and cat. Both sons have grown up, graduated from college and live their lives elsewhere. I am lucky to have two adorable grandchildren close enough to stay with Na Na and remind me what it is to be a child and run through the fields giggling.
When the water’s just right we take canoe rides, and even if we can’t, living here is quiet and peaceful, just how I like it. I’ve put in some gardens and my photography focuses on the flowers I’ve planted after teasing the unforgivable clay soil to grow anything, quite a chore.
I also fill my time pleasantly in my studio where I roll out raw clay with a giant rolling pin, then cook it in the kiln after glazing the tiles. I break it with a hammer putting it back together inside old frames I collect at tag sales or filling in a design cut out of wood with a jigsaw. Join me in my studio and gardens on Facebook to see the MOSAICS or FLOWER PHOTOGRAPHY.
Contact me at: patriciagrace536@gmail.com
You are so strong! I’ve nominated you for a liebster award 🙂 http://embracingeating.wordpress.com/2014/10/05/libester-award/
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wow, thank you Cece! I appreciate your comment, and nomination very much!
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When reading your posts, I feel like they could have been written by me. They touch me very deeply and remind me that I am not alone. Sadly, there are others who have suffered abuse and profound hurt. I am happy to have found you!
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I’m glad! Me too!
I was afraid offering my email might have put you off or that I might sound like a stalker! But you voiced such a loneliness in that post, a loneliness I relate to so well that I wanted to reach out to help ease the pain.
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Hello dear friend,
Thank you for stopping by my site. I hope you found something interesting to read. We have common threads in life and blessed we came out in one piece. I’m following you to learn more about you’re coping skills. Have a great day. I hope you will visit again.
M
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Oh, I will visit every time you write!
I feel for once as if I am in one piece but pieced together much like my mosaics, jagged, sharp and broken brought together in love, smoothed out with delicate care, persistence and patience.
Thank you for your kind words. I am touched more here with women I’ve never met more than most the people I’ve known over my 61 years.
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Patricia, I’m so glad you recently began following my blog. I was drawn to the title of your blog and decided to check it out. I’m so glad I did. I’ve read a few chapters from your book and strength radiates from your words. It’s so nice to “meet” you. You follow some very interesting blogs as well and I plan to explore more of them when I get the chance.
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You also sound like a remarkable woman. Thanks for stopping by and glad to ‘meet’ you…
‘
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Thank you for having the courage to share your story and for giving us the privilege to hear it! Thanks for following my blog 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by!
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Thank you for visiting my blog on healing from childhood abuse and for following. That’s what led me here. I am so sorry for the trauma that you suffered as a child. No matter how many times I learn of another’s abuse, I never cease to feel heartbroken for what has been endured. That’s one of the gems that has come out of my struggle I guess – deep empathy for others who have experienced brokenness. I look forward to getting to know you both here, and at my blog incrementalhealing.wordpress.com
Blessings,
Kamea
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Thanks for stopping by, it means a lot to me. : )
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I am so happy you followed my blog and I was able to follow yours! You truly are an inspiration and thank you for not only sharing your story but for helping others along their journey. Your blog (and book) are a blessing to my life and I really am thankful to have this opportunity to read it.
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Your kind words came at a good time. Thank you!
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I appreciate you following my blog, and I look forward to exploring yours. Based on your ABOUT page, it appears we might be in the same age bracket, and have shared some similar experiences. I’m still evolving in how I approach the subject in my blog, although these days, I’m fortunate to have found a level of peace and tranquility that I might not have believed possible. Often, my blog posts will reflect this chapter of my life, and less about my struggles to overcome the years of sexual abuse by my father. However, I’m also bipolar, so there are hills and valleys. Most days I’m just grateful that I survived, and look for ways to share some encouragement with others. Nice to meet you, and again, I do look forward to exploring your blog further.
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Yes, it was good to hear that you have found peace.
Although I focus on what I could not talk about in childhood, I also write about other things.
Thank you for stopping by!
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I am a strong proponent for the need to have the ability to tell your own story, without it being censored or ridiculed or deemed inappropriate. Part of my healing process has included me telling my own story a number of different ways, sometimes with graphic detail, and sometimes with compassion, and other times with raging anger. My own healing journey required that someone out there validate that what had happened to me was unjust and horrific, and I truly don’t believe I could have found any sort of healing without the validation. Telling our stories not only helps us heal, but also helps others that are still moving through the beginning stages of healing. I’ve always admired anyone that was willing to put their story on the page. It’s a powerful way to reclaim something we’ve collectively lost, and I believe we all deserve to find some measure of peace. Stories help heal. Again, it was nice to meet you, and I look forward to future conversations.
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Yes, yes, yes and yes!
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You are an inspiring and incredibly strong woman, I have enjoyed reading through the chapters of your book. Thank you for being so courageous in putting your story out there, it gives me so much more motivation to continue my own writing journey.
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Those words hit ‘home’ and feel good to hear. Thank you. Good luck on your writing. I found it so cathartic.
I had a lot of help, a son who asked each week, “When’s the next chapter Mom?”
And a writing group of three that a friend and I started that met weekly at a cafe with soft comfy couches.
So I had to cough up something each week, but I was ready, it came up like a volcano from deep within spewing out! I had met the two other writers at classes in the city, a neat old brick building that once was a police precinct years ago. So one step opened doors to many more.
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Thank you for following my blog. I’ve been absent from it for a while, but I’m adding to it now. I look forward to reading your story, as I haven’t connected with many others who were raped by their brothers. I was raped by my older brother starting when I was 12. My younger brother only found out about it last summer when I told him (I turned 50 last fall). In any case, I’m happy to connect with another survivor who also happens to love photography (it’s my zen). My son is only 12 and he doesn’t know yet. I’ll tell him one day, when he’s older.
My healing really kicked off with a bang about 4 years ago, and I’ve come a long way. Still a work in progress, and will be for life. Part of my healing involves that which was inflicted by a mentally ill mother. Can’t wait to blog about my most recent hypnotherapy session. It was mighty powerful and transformative.
Bless you for putting yourself and your story out there!!
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Just read a bit more. ” Struggles with weight, depression, and self-esteem” I can identify with every one of those. And within the past year in particular, have had some big breakthroughs in all of those. Still a work in progress, but doing much better.
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Good to hear from you, though sorry why.
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Thank you for following my blog and being an inspiration to so many others.
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Thank you for saying that…
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You are a brave, brave woman.
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Your site name is intriguing…thank you!
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🙂
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Would you mind adding a search button on your page? That way it will be easy to search through your posts. 🙂
Thank you. 🙂
You can add that from the customization menu.
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I’ll check it out, or try to. I’m too good at this stuff and haven’t heard of it, or did but didn’t know what it was. I’ll try!
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You will find it in the customization menu 🙂 Under my sites. In adding widgets. 🙂
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I googled ‘how to’ and did find it there. The search button is now on site at the end of those I follow…and it works!
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Thank you for doing this. It will be very helpful to search through the posts. 🙂
Btw I am teary eyed since I started reading the book. Is it all real circumstances? Sometimes it is so hard believe that a person, actually a small child went through all this.
My heart is crying and praying for the child who went through something that no one should ever have. 😦
I cant even begin to fathom how she braved those days of utter harassment and abuse. That small child who was just beginning to understand the meaning of life and death.
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All true.
You’re welcome!
Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated, helpful and needed.
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:-
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🙂
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I am sorry to read what you have gone through. You are incredibly brave and inspiring. I am glad that I have found your blog. I am looking to connect with others as I journey through my own healing experience. It is never easy and has been a long journey, but I guess I am just ready to heal. It is hopeful to see others on their own journey and further along than me.
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Hi hurtnhealing: You may be interested in the Cyber Support Group blog, too. Hope, healing, and deliverance for childhood sexual abuse. Blessings to you as you go forth in your healing journey.
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Thank you for the information. I will have to check it out. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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I am glad to meet you and have you stop, though sorry if have things that happened similar in nature…
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I am glad too, in a way. I hate to know that others suffer, but I guess if you are going to suffer, it helps to know you aren’t alone.
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It takes an enormous amount of courage and strength to write such a book and I know it will help many people. You are BRAVEHEART ! Words cannot suffice to say your tremendous strength to undertake such a writing task…Blessings!
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Oh my gosh. Thank you…
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No wonder you could speak with such compassion toward me! You do know what suffering is! I am so sorry to hear of your unthinkable abuse! You have such a sweet and tender heart, bought with such a very high price! It has been very meaningful to have our paths meet. I will read your words with the same sacredness and grace you have extended to me!
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Well, I only just rolled out of bed, having a first sip of coffee with little Molly at my feet.(more like a puppy than a cat) And you touched me again. First, yesterday, with your sorrow. Today, with kindness. Thank you.
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…and we even have cats in common that love us!
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Oh, what would I do without my kitty? I’ve had kitties since childhood. So cool you love them too… : )
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Hi … I am so glad that I found your blog! I myself was sexually abused by my older brothers .. 2 of them from the age 5 until I was over 10 .. I am in the middle of writing my book called “alone in the closet” .. we have so much in common, and I am so blessed to have found your blog. I write in my blog about my healing in therapy and the process of moving through life each day being a adult victim of abuse from the past .. would love to connect with you …
Karen
Finding The Grace Within
http://www.findingthegracewithin.com
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Hi! I will stop by to visit. I am glad to meet you too, though sorry about the reasons and shared history.
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Just got your book on Kindle. Thanks for speaking out for those of us who have experienced sexual abuse. You are awesome!
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Awesome. Wow. Had to read that to my husband, at the same telling him that is not what my brother said to me. He said horrible things.
Thank you so much for saying that…
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You are courageous to get your story out there to inspire others. I am sorry that you were abused growing up and happy that you have a peaceful and beautiful life now.
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Thank you! Such kind, caring words that I very much appreciate.
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Patricia, because of your great courage and your passion to help others through the healing of sexual abuse, I have nominated you for the Rabbit Recognition award. https://runrabbitrunptsd.wordpress.com/2016/07/22/rabbit-recognition-award/
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Thank you, that is quite an honor…
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You SO deserve it. I am so impressed by how open you are about your abuse and your passion to help others. 🙂
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Thank you so much!
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It’s lovely to find your beautiful blog. Inspiring and bright!
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Thank you for saying that! I am honored you stopped by… : )
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It’s good to meet you. 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by…
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