After asking those in the origin family not to include me in emails when Tom is also included, they forget… just as easily forgotten as what never was spoken about, attacks against me. As it if never happened. There it is in black and white in my mailbox, his name, and all the memories rather not thought about.
Wrecking my life in ways that never should have happened, and in many respects cannot be reversed. And you can’t respect that simple request? Bitterness erupts like unwelcome unpleasant scents wafting up, seeing the email where three brothers and Tom keep up contact, Tom the one farthest away, losing the label ‘brother’ the moment he touched me that way.
They interact with him, not me. The craving? To be able to feel like I have brothers, yet don’t really have them. Not if the attacker is one of your little group therefore ignoring my pain.
But it has come to a place where the knowledge that my life is better without those that profess love without really loving. That love that is true matters, for myself, my partner, my sons, grand-children, and friends.
My life is full. I shall not let bitterness overtake me. I will stay, or try to stay away from what harms me. And being any part of a group where the mentality is silencing, controlling, or berating is not for me. That is not family, that is not love. Although it is possible to love others without liking them or wanting to spend time with them.