V-Day

PHOTO BY PATRICIA

There’s not enough pot oil in the world to stop my mind from racing with the coming of spring and more light. Just grin and bear it. Breathe. Be strong. And be kind, the biggest hurdle, only feeling kindness is deserved if all the daily boxes are checked; did you meditate, walk, keep the house nice, do something productive, or lots of productive things?

What if rest is needed? Kindness is needed most when things are so hard these other activities aren’t completed. That is the when a soft place to fall inside myself is so yearned for. Often looked to from others, but it is internally where that sweetness must be cultivated.

Brutal is the word that most describes the habitual self-talk. Noticing the harsh language is step one, half the battle. And often it is so habitual it is not noticed, or at least feels satisfying. Satisfying to beat myself up?

Like, someone has to do it. Someone must pay for the crimes sustained at age 8— abused, terrorized, and alone. No one came to rescue, help, offer love, or protect. The message of not being worthy grew each year, and is the hardest to overcome.

On this day may we all remember that love is where the softness is, especially and firstly, love for oneself, even if the chores were not done. Even if eating that piece of cake, even if sitting all day licking wounds that have yet not healed. V-Day, victory over obtrusive, negative, and harmful thoughts….

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