SPRING

What a week, up, down, and everything in-between. Things go along so well it almost feels unjust, then upheaval because sleep won’t come. Trying to figure out why doesn’t always succeed. Sometimes answers come but they are fuzzy without surety.

But it is February, often the hardest month for a person normally in a lower mood all winter due to shorter days. But the burgeoning of spring is not far away. The signs are missed if you’re not looking.

A new breed of bird, mockingbirds, are at the feeder after not seeing them all winter. A friend saw four robins. Out walking there is much more bird chatter after a winter silent as a tomb. So it’s coming, hold on!

It doesn’t help that vaccines are out but in short supply causing anxiety in the race to get one. And everyone wants one, so you just have to wait. Though a friend is getting dose two by driving over an away. Samuel says he doesn’t want to do that, nor do I.

A few days after visiting Seth, sleep, oh blessed sleep came. I’m not sure if the draw to family will ever keep me from dipping in from time to time. Almost every time the period afterwards causes upheaval and unrest. No, I probably won’t learn for the need will not go away.

It smacks too much of the person I was molded to be. I am not her now. I live free, think free, and feel free… unless relenting to the need to dip my toe in the swamp called ‘family.’

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