Initially the plan yesterday was to leave, do errands, and see a movie. Yet the last line of my post, “I will not run,” reverberated internally. Meditation brought calm and centeredness. No, driving around in a car in 90 degree heat was not really a great escape plan.
While resting on the patio as a uniquely painted butterfly visited, a feeling of settledness slowly seeped in as this new creature fluttered by. Throughout the day usual routines brought a sense of peace that had been missing after what should have been a lovely vacation.
And it was, one I have described twice now as the best yet. But my serious way of thinking and viewing the world collapses a freer way of being. A natural flow is inevitably dampened when overly exposed to too much input that cannot be processed all at once. Others in the past have attempted to encourage me to be less serious.
But as child and since, life has been a serious matter. Danger lurks just beyond and I have to be ready.
The gardens look lovely again. Life looks lovely again. The peace this life brings does not make me small. It once again proves that success can come out of tragedy, and that beauty can grow from arid soil if one takes the time to care, nurture and love it. That includes caring and loving myself by accepting one’s own flaws and loving them too.