CRACKS

On my terms. That’s new. It’s an upheaval from what was and always was. Like a feather in the wind, my tendency is to do whatever you want me to. Pushed or pressured, even just a little, swayed me.

To stand on my own has taken so long and is tenuous, new and a territory unexplored. I proceed on my terms, both a statement and a question. Can it be so? Is it possible?

Can I be a real person, with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants of my own?

The childhood of such severe sexual abuse by those that were dearly loved and trusted broke any claim to this earth as the child I was or the person I would be. What grew was something else. Still valuable, but different.

The inherent claim to the being I would be was taken. The discovery of her basics are waiting to be claimed. Though broken, the parts are still there. But it is taken a lifetime to find them and put back the pieces.

Like my mosaics, the end product is beautiful. The cracks are smoothed but very visible. Be careful because you might get cut on the edges. Just get to the point because I can’t dawdle with wasted time. Be direct because I can’t read your mind. Go to where it is important otherwise leave me to the beauty of this earth and the peace of my soul.

 

2 thoughts on “CRACKS

  1. It took a while for me to understand that my family are not a mirror , I don’t have to look at the them to see my own reflection. Yes you can be yourself and so can I

    Liked by 1 person

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