photo by Patricia

Such high expectations every day, and when not met the lapses are dreamt of in the night. Better to lick my lips in success than to fail. So pick up the pieces of failure and do better today.

My expectations are not too high. You can do this. You can care for your-self as if you matter and after a while you will feel it… not just try to.

Still residing is a wall between connecting with my body and feeling its workings, a frozenness. When thawed there is wholeness, but then the next moment not. The work continues; to remain open to all feelings, not run from them by icing, an unconscious response.

You will get there, and much has occurred to be present and feel safe. As one safe moment on top of another mounts, the risk taken to be here now seems worth it. But the ice is still needed for safety.

Though it is half a life, or less, the instinctual response is to freeze, numbing any connection to the body, with the mind going to that safe place so well known. 



15 thoughts on “SAFETY

  1. Safety is such a wonderful thing to feel. Sometimes I can feel less rooted in safety and I go into freeze mode as well. It is just natural for me. Now I am a loving observer of it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are not alone on that kind of feeling, it is also very familiar to me. I think that is common among victims like us. May we all find healing everyday and ways to better deal with life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have just recently made some headway in connecting with my body in a positive way. For a decade probably, I have found bathing to be very triggering. But a few weeks ago, it came into my head to recite positive statements during it. I thought about it gratefully, how it carried a growing person for 9 months and breastfed my baby for another nine. How it had been hugged endlessly by my son and often often at a preschool where I worked for four years. From head to toe, I named good and wonderful things that my body had experienced. Since then, I have not been triggered in the tub for about three weeks now. A real breakthrough that I needed since I have been going through a difficult time with new flashbacks about abuse. I really like what the poster said about self-care and taking one’s power back. I am going to put that in a book of quotes and poetry that I copy meaningful thoughts of others in.

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