photo by Patricia-lavender by Mother Nature
Self-love, self-compassion, self-caring, all hard won basic needs still hoping to nurture and grow even now at age 65… and to grow louder than the negatives that continue to take precedence.
Negatives have been instilled more forcefully and thoroughly than self-love. The beast of negativity is combatted daily. That part of me is so loud, often presiding without realizing it, along with the damage caused non-stop.
This began at age 8, became bedrock, a part of my personality. You don’t change your personality this late in life, you deal with it every day. It is work, the effort needed for a peaceful, joyful life.
Children properly provided for learn naturally to love themselves as they grow. And though challenges exist and stumbles are made, this basic need, to learn love, becomes part of who they are permanently. It is just there naturally.
Many children do not have this. Does that make others better? Or does it make the ones who work harder worthy of acknowledgment for their resilience, fortitude, courage and commitment?
The latter of course, but it does not change the work needed every day. The self-talk clatter needs cleaning up, and challenged by re-inserting more useful, accurate statements. It takes being present, and that is a challenge too.
Talking about these things is one thing. Having it become more than words is the miracle that over time, slowly, ever so slowly, a metamorphosis takes place. Parts connect, and sometimes a positive feeling arises as if a soft bubble pops. In wonderment that feeling is cherished. You are cherished when you decide to make it so.