Waking in the dark morning fear is felt. It’s not helpful to go to sleep thinking about the family of origin, how separated and completely cut off my life is from any one of them. The heart beats quick with a desolation that is hard to bear.
Usually the feelings are tucked away, compartmentalized and not thought of much. The break sends me adrift on a jagged iceberg exploring freedom with courage unparalleled.
Yet in the dark of night thoughts sometimes go to the family unit with its memories. Wistful for what never was, in dreams the wishes come, which causes waking to be so frightful. Stark aloneness comes with consciousness.
Breathe. Calm that anxious heart. It’s OK. You’re OK. Better than OK. Free from the locks of pretense or shame, the person inside is discovered and evolves. The burden of fakery gone, my shoulders and entire being relaxes.