photo by Patricia
Winter has taken hold, beat me down, and won’t let up, even as the days grow longer. One last hit to let me know she’s there. Waking for the day, not yet wanting to get out of bed, the thought occurred that it was February when my friend died. Maybe that adds to the odd numbness, memories of her and the reciprocal love and respect which flowed.
Gathering with friends for our monthly get-together, my feelings were ambivalent and cool which was curious. Even in the hardest times the warmth is felt but mine remained encapsulated, hard to reach. Perhaps it was missing sweet Sue adding on to the winter blues.
Figuring things out further helps one to be gentle with oneself. Soon my brain chemicals will lighten up, get squirrely causing labile moods from feeling down to euphoric then leveling out as warm days become more consistent. Geese are moving, squawking and flying in V’s overhead.
Sitting creek side the ground cover looks barren, but below the soil roots may be waking up preparing to grow. The birds that have returned could already be building nests. Soak it in, renew, and trudge on. Make my boots move when my spirit doesn’t want to.
The movement quickens my mood, it always does.