Depression hangs heavy removing any interest in anything. Tiredness can cripple slowing one down to a crawl. An odd feeling persists of unease and disconnect. The hope was this would be a winter season without the lower mood so the full spectrum lights weren’t used. It is time to use them.
The light mimics the sun radiating a blanket of soothing rays. With some luck and a continuation of daily exercise along with meditation to combat the anxiety, the brain chemicals will even out and feelings of well-being will return. Sleep patterns will adjust too. The change of daylight preys on the brain, stirring chemicals, draining others. Some years are harder than others, but each is a challenge.
Trying not to have what one has, or trying to be someone other than who you are only leaves a ghost of a soul. Accepting this exists and has to be dealt with breaks an internal icy wall bringing tears down my cheeks during meditation. That is a good sign. Feelings are being felt not run from.