THAWING

The room we chose to sleep in while vacationing in the the Adirondacks was tiny, dark, almost windowless and airless. The other two for my sons and families were large, airy and new. We felt that wing would give us space from the babies waking at night and our sons could attend to them without interfering with our sleep. 

I shut down, didn’t sleep, and felt far from home, the real structure and the one I worked hard to find inside of my own being. Three days after coming home I am still searching for the internal one.

Hung out from a place to reside brought coldness and disconnect like a ghost with nowhere to go. The cat struggled and the trip took a toll on her that she may not recover from. Feelings froze and acting like I had any took its place.

Feelings. Safety to have them. Basics like enough sleep and manageable stress. Those gifts return the moment we enter the driveway to our home. It is so good to be home. Each day brings me back into me as the frozen shell melts.

Photos from my garden and meadow