The room we chose to sleep in while vacationing in the the Adirondacks was tiny, dark, almost windowless and airless. The other two for my sons and families were large, airy and new. We felt that wing would give us space from the babies waking at night and our sons could attend to them without interfering with our sleep. 

I shut down, didn’t sleep, and felt far from home, the real structure and the one I worked hard to find inside of my own being. Three days after coming home I am still searching for the internal one.

Hung out from a place to reside brought coldness and disconnect like a ghost with nowhere to go. The cat struggled and the trip took a toll on her that she may not recover from. Feelings froze and acting like I had any took its place.

Feelings. Safety to have them. Basics like enough sleep and manageable stress. Those gifts return the moment we enter the driveway to our home. It is so good to be home. Each day brings me back into me as the frozen shell melts.

Photos from my garden and meadow


7 thoughts on “THAWING

  1. Vacations can be wonderful, but it is so difficult to adjust routines, to lose the things that help keep us steady. I think it does always create a numbness to leave our safe place, it’s like a protective barrier pops up. I’m glad you are home and that protective barrier is thawing bit by bit. 💟xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. wow those flowers are gorgeous shots! So glad you’re home… I’ve been avoiding visiting family for similar reasons, I am going thru too much, like I said before I can really relate… nothing like the anchor and refuge of home…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!
      It was made unbearable due to the claustrophobic ‘master’ bedroom. What a stretch.
      There were significant challenges without the insanity of severe sleep deprivation.
      It will take awhile to get back on tract.
      I so appreciate your supportive comments and sharing.


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