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I feel great! I have disgorged any feelings of wrongdoing in my lack of a relationship with Don, Stevie and especially Seth. Or at least have decided it takes two and is certainly not all on me.

I’ve expunged feelings of self-blame by writing them out and thinking them through. I tend to blame myself for negativity in the lives of those around me and my own. That is a constant challenge.

So I sleep great. Add to that a total healing inside. I have been bleeding for many years but didn’t know it. The internal bleeding has finally stopped, though it took too long to learn why I felt so tired and why my stomach hurt so badly. I finally have a idea of what’s going on.

I wish I didn’t have to permanently take a medication which blocks acid production. It affects my head making it feel full when I bend then stand. It is known to lead to dementia for some after using it for long periods, but it is a fact of my life now.

Having my body heal lifted both mood and energy. Reining in my eating helped too. Laying my head on the pillow at night knowing I’ve taken good care of mind, body and soul leads to well-being and deep sleep. Exercise has slipped due to cold and rain but is easily remedied. 

Yesterday before going to a matinee, (Jack Reacher 2) I retrieved my Mother’s sewing basket from the stuff from the garage sale awaiting pick-up. I spent a fun morning filling it with sewing goodies Cindy can use. She is fascinated when I use mine. Now she has her own! I did add a little bling…

We are off for a drive through the hills to see the exploding color then lunch in an eclectic coffee shop where home-made soup is served. We always visit the the local pottery maker’s shop buried deep in the valley to see what he’s been up to.

Donning gloves, hat and scarf, we will then explore their woodsy nature trail laden with colorful leaves. The cold air will bring out a frisky child who scoops up leaves breathing in the scent of the earth’s decomposition. 

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11 thoughts on “

  1. I forgot to tell you my original reply. I have been on an acid-reducer for more years than I can count, but it works – most of the time. I just don’t like the fact that I have to take that and one other medication, an hour before I eat or drink. That’s tough I have to be up and out of here early.

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  2. I’m smiling as I read this— so glad you let go of that self blame. It’s been quite the process, and I know things haven’t been easy, but I hope you feel like it was worth it— to let go of all that self blame and bad feelings. 🙂

    I’m jealous you went to see Jack Reacher 2. How was it? He is one of my favorite book characters.

    I’m glad you are feeling better, physically and emotionally. You deserve everything good this life has to offer– you have such a light that you share with so many others. Xx💟

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I slept so deeply that night then this past night my body is up to it’s old tricks waking in the wee hours. Such is life..
      The movie was incredible. And the previews for more good ones coming up look inviting.
      I love going to the movies but Samuel won’t do matinees so I go by myself but am very content. Other women like me do the same thing. The new theater seats recline as if one is at home.
      I even spoke up to mammoth man next me instead of fuming for the entire movie. After every handful of popcorn his elbow banged on the armrest shaking my entire seat. I finally let him know politely how annoying it was. He apologized and didn’t do it again.
      Miraculous that I did that and with ease-and he complied.

      Liked by 1 person

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