“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” (Dumbledore)


Families and society need to hear specifics, things they do not want to hear about childhood sexual abuse. By evading specifics do we rise above some unseen platitude or do we help this kind of depravity to continue?

Words need to be changed for younger audiences. It is necessary to teach children that if you feel uncomfortable about anyone touching you say, “NO!” And back them. If anyone touches your private parts tell an adult and keep telling until you are heard… And explain that private parts are the parts a bathing suit covers.

If my mother had taught me that, I would know what to tell her. If my mother had taught me that, I would trust that I could tell her. I did not know what Tom was doing to me. I had no words.

And later when I did tell I was chastised, then expected to keep the crimes done to me within myself. If I’d been abducted off the street and had been subjected to the same depravity that Tom inflicted, my so called ‘family’ would never expect me to be around him again, nor hug him, or suffer his hugs. Yet that is what was expected and is still expected. That it is something to let go off so that they can keep pretending. 

8 thoughts on ““Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” (Dumbledore)

  1. I recently found the way my sister in law is raising her daughter encouraging. She will ask my niece to say goodbye to everyone – but never makes her hug or kiss people.

    Sometimes, my niece will choose too. And sometimes when an uncle or someone says “aw, give me a kiss” and my niece says “no”, my sister in law will back her up and be like, “that’s okay, that’s your choice, say goodbye how you would like.”

    And I marvel at this, and wish so many other people respected the choices of children and taught them that their “no” when it comes to their bodies shouldn’t be overridden by an adult.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. They want to pretend. Thankfully you don’t have to anymore. I am so sorry you were hurt and abused by that man. And that your family didn’t; listen, didn’t protect.

    Liked by 1 person

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