THERAPIST vs MOTHER

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I was warned by a fellow blogger the very first time Adele emailed after a four day wait, explaining the delay in response by relaying that her dogs had been vomiting which is why it took her four days to respond. And this caring blogger said, “Sure, tell me all you stuff.”

Warning. Therapists need to keep their stuff to themselves, unless it is brought up specifically to help the client. And that is a big reason why I need help sometimes, because I lost myself during childhood and the inner chaos since makes it hard to stay grounded.

Don’t flaunt yourself. The last therapist after my Mother died 7 years ago was a kind soul. I saw her many months and the only thing I knew about her was that she had grown sons and was soon to retire. I didn’t need to know more as long as the interaction felt right, helpful and compassionate.

The same with Raymond, he had two grown daughters and lived on a farm where his practice was. Those that are truly there to help will not burden the client nor take up valuable time flaunting their accomplishments and talking about themselves unnecessarily.

My Mother did that all through my life. Everything was about her. I felt her feelings always and easily but did not know my own. It figures I’d pick a dysfunctional therapist. Since that is what I’ve known I’d be drawn to it.

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7 thoughts on “THERAPIST vs MOTHER

      1. I think in theory they are very easy as opposed to in practice – not in your case as the boundary violations were pretty straightforward – but in my non-boundaried failed T relationships I believe that the T was truly trying to help but went too far. They burned themselves out or crossed the friend line, and it took me a while to realize it was a) their failing and b) out of an innappropriate (for a T) level of care for me.

        I forget often that they are human too and must sometimes want to help in ways that are unethical for their profession.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. What stunning photos! Wow!!
          You may have been drawn to her initially, but that could have happened to anyone because how would you know that she was so inept.
          The important thing is that you recognised that it wasn’t healthy for you and you broke free, free as the butterfly in your photos. You asserted yourself strongly and gracefully. There is no dysfunction in that!

          Liked by 1 person

  1. its true. therapist should keep their own stuff to themselves. or at least to a very minimum they should only share when its appropriate, when you will gain something from it. I don’t think you are at fault here. You thought adelle could help you. You were hoping she would. You did your best here, she was the one who was at fault, not you. XXX

    Liked by 1 person

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