ADELE’S RESPONSE

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Hi Patricia,

I’ve been out of town for several days so it has taken me longer than usual to respond.

I’m glad you let me know how you felt in our last session… I know that takes courage and it is difficult to do. I regret that you didn’t feel like you received what you needed from me. I am confident that in the future the boundaries and space you need can be maintained and I welcome you to come in when you would find it helpful to do so. 

Sincerely,

Adele

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24 thoughts on “ADELE’S RESPONSE

  1. Glad you got a response. For what it’s worth, her behavior was the most unprofessional I’ve ever heard of. Of all the therapists I’ve seen (6 between me, my son, and my mom), they never bring up their lives or do anything other than pay attention to their client, during a session.

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  2. Her response is quite good … but I can’t help feeling that a proper apology might have been nice. She regrets that you didn’t “feel that you got what you needed” – but it’s a fact that u didn’t get what u needed because she was distracted by her own stuff. … as others have pointed out, sessions should be about the client, not the therapist. Just my own thoughts though hope that’s ok x

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    1. Yes, I noticed that a very long time ago about some people. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” isn’t saying one is sorry. It is patronizing more than apologetic.
      Yet she did say she regrets…and I believe her. I see in her a deep caring for others. She just needs a little teaching and guidance.
      I vacillate between tolerance and being a door-mat. Balance please…

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      1. I seems as though you do have a pretty good balance already – acknowledging that while on the one hand more of an apology might have been good, therapists are human/fallible too and you do feel that care from her so maybe she does just need a little more guidance. That someone cares is the most important thing and if u feel that she does then that’s a real positive. Hope you work something out! x

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  3. Hmm. I’m glad she responded. It was professional and worded carefully….so that speaks to her competence and professionalism. It’s a bit…I don’t know. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Cookie-cutter responses are good for many things in the professional world but… maybe if you go speak to her in person the words she says will flesh out into something more fulsome.

    All that matters is that you feel like you were heard and that you are happy with where you stand with her though so, I am glad to see she responded.

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      1. Sorry to hear you are struggling with this. Therapy is hard enough. If Adele was having an off day she should have been up front with you. Survivors have enough trouble with knowing what are issues are our own and which are not. You deserve to be respected especially in this kind of relationship. Peace!

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        1. Oh, she was clear about it, too clear, spending valuable time playing with her dog and talking about it, even leaving me there sitting in her office while she went down the hall to get her dog a biscuit. Then called it up into her lap so she could play with it some more. Very bizarre and self-centered, taking it for granted that I would just be mute, smile and think, ‘what fun.’ Not fun, or funny.
          Still, I found value there and don’t care to keep searching so I will see if I can still work with her. Am I too tolerant?

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  4. Patricia I can only tell you what my experience has been. In order to help me my therapist had to be willing to sit with me in my stuff. In fact he needed to help me figure out what that was which meant catching subtle changes in my voice or my body language and he had to learn to catch me before I started to dissociate or we would lose a whole session.. I just don’t know how he would have done that with a dog on his lap. You deserve to be heard is she able to do that?

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    1. I think you have pretty much validated my own instincts. She is not the one for me. I deserve better. And you did it in a way that is almost comical and for a serious sort that lightened the situation greatly. Thank you.
      “I just don’t know how he would have done that with a dog on his lap. ” Well, there you go. She is more interested in her dog than in me.

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