I haven’t sent this yet. I can sometimes be too blunt and harsh. If others with softer souls have suggestions to improve it, you are welcome to share. It’s more likely I won’t send it at all and just needed to express my feelings. I may just cancel. I tend to speak up quietly by not exposing myself further to that which turns out to be more hurtful than helpful.
You had said in our first meeting that you wanted to know if I’m in disagreement about something. Of course the reason I am there is because my voice was stolen a long time ago and it is one of the things broken I cannot get back. So being asked to do something I am unable to do, and is the basis for needing therapy, is not doable. But I did say I’d try.
In our last meeting, which I cannot call a session, I felt like a by-stander or as if I’d just stopped by to say hi and have coffee. You seemed to create your own chaos since you drove off the premises to buy yogurt when you knew you had an appointment even if they were late.
You are doing exactly what a previous therapist had done, leaving me sitting alone in your office, as he did, except you weren’t answering a phone call you were getting a treat for you dog. I don’t know which is worse, but both are unacceptable and inexcusable. That is not OK with me. I am not a friend stopping by sitting at your kitchen table. I expect at $120 a visit, unless an emergency has occurred, that a therapist is ready to work. If not, call to cancel, or apologize when I arrive and re-schedule.
I felt as if I had to keep bringing you back to the reason I’m there which it to work on my issues. Many precious minutes were wasted while I watched you play with your dog and listened about your past skating, singing, performing and surgeries. If brought up in context to a point being made that would be helpful but I don’t see how hearing all these details about you were advancing the therapeutic process.
You have helped me through a bad time, and I thank you for that. I would like to know you are there in the future if the need arises because when I was in such deep pain and confusion you were on tract and phenomenal. But I need that each time. I need to feel assured you are able to be ready and present, not playing with you dog or inserting extraneous information unrelated to the work I need to do.
I do not feel I need the next appointment we scheduled.