Sunbeams spill through the tree branches burning off the low laying fog as tears fall with the first sip of coffee while I waken. A child within beseeches why? Why weren’t you there, why didn’t you help, why won’t you help me now? She will always be there asking within me, needing listening to, but not giving up control to.
It is immediately helpful having Adele, a fresh pair of eyes, another perspective, even if the listener is twenty years my junior. I am not to lay my life at another’s feet. Now I have a path.
If I want to interact with siblings do so where we are now. They didn’t help me then, then won’t help me now. And the little girl hurts deeply. She always will. I will always carry that hurt.
I can do it. I’ve done it successfully long term and not long ago, found my center, my groundednes, before running down this lost path. I’ll do it again. I already am. I had lost the will to do what I do, dig into each day and make it the best day. I became lost for months.
Now I’ve been found…