Sipping coffee on the porch watching the morning sun rays stream through the trees, I wonder about the crimes within a family that go unpunished. The crimes a little girl suffers then contains the rest of her life. Tom, the eldest, is revered by the others. I would ask Stevie, Seth and Don, “Would you be so friendly with Tom if he had crept up in the night and committed oral sex on your daughters?”

It wasn’t the act itself that caused so much distress in my life, but what came after. His years of barbs and put-downs so craftily interjected that the others either didn’t notice or ignored. As if it were all OK, including the abuse; the attack in the night when my little brother and I were allowed to sleep on the couch falling asleep watching the Christmas tree lights. A sweet innocent event soiling the rest of my life.

Because Tom hated me after that. I was a reminder of what he had done.


13 thoughts on “TOM

  1. Im sorry as well you went through that. Its horrible that nice memories are ruined by the abuse. I feel for you I have so many memories on occasions that should have been happy as well.


    1. Thank you Mandy.
      It was his diabolical treatment after which was the most damaging. I haven’t seen him in years yet I’m left with the memories of how hard I tried to please him, make him proud, and to be included and feel loved.
      It took until adulthood until I began to face my past, break away from the pretense of a ‘happy family’, and realize how destructive continuing to be a part of it was; though I kept returning like a moth to a flame, wanting a family.


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