ADELE?

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Before the exchange below, I’d already waited two days to hear from Adele, a prospective therapist. She finally called wondering why I hadn’t answered her texts.

She failed to explain during our first session that she used texting to make appointments. Had she mentioned it, she would have learned that the number given to her was my home phone.  

To: Adele

Subject: Appointment times

Hi Adele,

I thought about what you mentioned, that we need time to get to know each other. I am sorry to change my mind, but I think it would be worth my time and effort to make another appointment.

Patricia

_________________________________________

Sent: Saturday, August 13, 2016 11:24 AM

To: patriciagrace536@gmail.com

Subject: Appointment times

Hi Patricia,

It’s fine that you changed your mind – sometimes time is needed to process things. I’m glad you’ll be coming in for a bit to get to know one another. I think it’ll be easier if something challenging comes up later to have a little trust and relationship built.

Next week I can meet on Thursday at 4. I unfortunately don’t have any Friday times next week. Let me know if Thursday will work. If not we will find something for the following week.

Have a good weekend.

Adele

_________________________________________

 —–Original Message—–

From: Patricia Grace [mailto:patriciagrace536@gmail.com]

Sent: Saturday, August 13, 2016 12:39 PM

To: ‘Adele PsyD’

RE: Appointment times

Thank you Adele, I very much agree.

I think we need to go into the next week as 4pm won’t work for me. The latest appointment I can take would be 2pm, but even earlier would be better.

Patricia

_______________________________________

Three days later I email her again after no response…

On Aug 16, 2016, at 6:09 PM, Patricia Grace <patriciagrace536@gmail.com> wrote:

Hi Adele,

We seem to be off to a rocky start making appointments. Did you receive this email sent about hour after yours was sent three days ago?

I am assuming for some reason you missed it.

Patricia 

________________________________________

—–Original Message—–
From: Adele, PsyD  
Sent: Tuesday, August 16, 2016 10:04 PM
To: Patricia Grace <patriciagrace536@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: Appointment times

Hi Patricia,

I was away the rest of the weekend and then both of my dogs got sick with a stomach bug. I’m just reemerging from it all.

How about Friday the 26th at 11?

Adele

_________________________________________

To Adele, PsyD

Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2016 9:10 AM

To Adele, PsyD

Subject: Re: Appointment times

I’m sorry Adele, 4 days to respond seems unreasonable considering the array of electronic devices that take only a moment to use. 

If I step into the therapeutic process with a dysfunctional foot, one where I have to remind the therapist to contact me, than I’m already in trouble. 

Patricia

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20 thoughts on “ADELE?

  1. You’re a role model! Stating your boundaries is good start. Plus isn’t it interesting that your therapist burdens you with their stuff … no good at all. Bearing in mind some of your past experiences of Therapists unloading on you it seems to me that you’re making a very wise decision. Take care!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, but I have resisted sending it yet. I hate cutting off this possibility of having a support person, but the angst before even starting the process is exasperating.
      I feel as if I could provide therapy for most of the people I’ve contacted. It would take a very special person to help. I think of Raymond, not perfect, but certainly the best therapist I’ve ever encountered.
      If it was meant to be it would be.
      I think this isn’t. And it saddens me. I’d had such high hopes.
      Thank you…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. No therapist will be exactly right that is part of the process too. but it sounds like youre gut is picking something up about this person. You know you the best , you wrote that message for a reason. Be well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Maggie.
      My ambivalence coupled with her ‘the dog ate my homework’ excuse has caused me not to reply yet at all.
      Not sure I’m liking this digital way of interconnecting when it comes to therapy. The phone would solve this back and forth stuff, except if she runs a business by not getting to others promptly then that would apply to phone calls too.

      Like

      1. If it felt like the right person you would be working through the ambivalence because that is how strong you are. Go back to your gut.. what is it saying? Are you fearing the process, do you feel disrespected by her delay in response, or do you just feel like this is not the right one? All are ok reasons to keep looking I think the digital stuff is staying whether we like it or not…lol.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I feel disrespected.
          I felt I could work with her even though she is as heavy, maybe even heavier than me.
          So working with issues of eating from emotions may be tricky with someone else who seems to do it too.
          Or maybe she has a medical problem or retains water…um, both seem unlikely.
          If she had called Monday, even Tuesday morning, I would have booked an appointment.
          But she wrote late Tuesday night, only after my second email Saturday reminding her that I awaited an answer.
          And because it was so late Tuesday night, after 10 pm, that essentially is 4 days past when I wrote.
          I realize my appointment wouldn’t be till next week, so she could be thinking she would get back to me later after re-arranging more current appointments. But she has a phone, tablet and probably a computer, so with all the gadgets, getting back to all clients can’t take that long.
          Maybe it is a generational thing. When running a business, get back to people. That seems especially imperative within the therapeutic business. (my opinion)

          Like

  3. Forgive me if I overstep my bounds because sometimes I get caught between survivor and therapist. I try not to and please let me know if I do. I think the issue may be more the therapist’s size and your concern about if she is the person to help with body image feelings. Because a therapist is thinner is not necessarily an indicator that they do not have food or body image issues. Their job is to help make the connections. If I have my own struggles as a survivor does that mean I can not help other survivors? You know your gut and the most important part of growing is learning to trust our gut.
    Therapists make mistakes but I don’t think responding about an appointment should be one of them.

    Like

    1. I have a lot of respect for you and appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy response then consider it and respond again.
      I do think weight is a valid concern, but it isn’t what kept me from responding to Adele. I admire the way she carries herself and like many factors related to how she runs her business except the delay time which I find unacceptable; not a mistake, but rather her way of doing business.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it will take the right person. I’d had high hopes for you, too, to have found a support person. I would hate it if a therapist took so many days to get back to me, and then made excuses! There have been so many potent therapists I called while in one crisis or another and by the time they called back, the crisis had passed and my defenses were back up, and I wanted nothing to do with them. I think therapists really need to be prompt when returning messages. If Adele isn’t the right person, you don’t have to stop searching, you can continue to look for a therapist. You deserve to have that support person in your life. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah…4 day delay 😬😥. No good. I wouldn’t be able to, either. And the sick dog thing…..I don’t know. My Hagrid hurt his back and was really not okay for weeks, and I still went about my normal life. And when my Chloe dog got sick, I stayed with her as much as possible, but I didn’t stop communicating with anyone or ignore my life.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It is good to hear others comments, though there are about as many for as against. If I don’t go with her I’ll stop looking. This morning I came to a decision of taking her Friday at 11 AM, but not until three days lapsed.

          Like

          1. I’m glad you made a decision, and I think you are so strong that you will advocate for yourself that you need quicker response times. I hope this appointment goes well, and you feel supported. Xx

            Liked by 1 person

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