We bickered and I left with a stone in my chest, me with my bike in the truck, Samuel out watering his garden. I hate it when we bicker, especially since it always seems to be about the same things over and over. I think we are making progress, maybe not.
As I unload the bike at the locks I hear a soft rushing sound. Looking up I see the poplar trees waving like a myriad of hands, “Hello, welcome,” and I smile.
Hopping on the bike, it glides without effort down the small incline to the locks. Then the easy ride begins along the path. The heat of this summer day is curbed by the shaded path, interspersed with warmth where the trees break, then cooler again.
The sumacs make the most intricate pattern ahead of my bike tire in the trail, like lacy curtains weaving in the breeze. I swerve away from the turtle, disappointed I haven’t seen a snapper this year laying eggs. Last year one lumbered all the way up from the creek to lay eggs in my garden. The garden was mine until Samuel retired. There’s no way we could work a garden together. I say north, he says south. Even when it was mine he told me what to do until I became so incensed I rebelled.
I have trouble staying present. If the rarest bird in the world flew right in front of me I wouldn’t notice. I get lost in my thoughts but come back to the present absorbing the scene, scents and my body’s movement. I do this repeatedly because I get lost in thought so easily; the past, the future, but what about now?
When I return home Samuel talks to me and it takes everything in me to answer, albeit very little. Just back off and give me some space, some time to get past the pissed off feelings.
And I do ‘get over it’ later in the afternoon.
We head to the Adirondacks Saturday for a week in the woods on a pristine lake complete with loons and no motor boats allowed. We have taken the ‘boys’ there since babyhood. Now the eldest, Shane, will soon be 35 with two children of his own. It is a joy to watch him pass on this love of the woods; hiking, campfires, canoeing, and sleeping in the camper we handed down to them.
And two weeks after that we head back to the Adirondacks to stay on a lake in a cottage with our younger son, Cory and his wife. The news? They are pregnant with their first child due in December.