STILLNESS

Picture 066

I just happen to have a photo of my own field of purple cosmos…

I hadn’t realized how much stillness I needed. The toll a simple dental surgery took on me. Accompanied with the bursting of Spring into Summer. I don’t usually allow down time till later in the afternoon when my limited energies are depleted. But after errands, before noon, I put the movie I’d been watching back on and really watched it, rather than listen in the background while I putter. The Color Purple.

I cried several times, glad that my feelings opened back up again because I had frozen in time, body and place, that of an eight year old. My deep sadness slowly ebbs. Hope, renewal, and feeling back in myself returns slowly like a rolling tide. Stillness.

My mind says go, go, go, do, do, do, yet how do I forget each time? I need quiet. I need silence. I need stillness. No matter how hard I try, I don’t seem to reach that deep, deep place where the tide stills, where deep peace calms all of me. Where I can catch up on the beauty that surrounds me. I cannot seem to drink it all up or catch up.

There is a morning dove nestled into the clematis vine against the screen of our little porch two feet from my face as I stand watching the sun peek above the trees, creek and mist. The meadow is foggy with the morning dew at 5 am, layers of fog the sun will soon burn off.

She sits there looking right at me, eye to eye, and does not move. Not through 92 degree heat, not the windy rain storms, only when her mate takes a turn to sit on the nest and gives her a break. It was fun to watch her mate bring sticks to the dip in the vine she sat on, as she took the twig and poked it in under belly still laying there as she worked.

The hummers next to her zip back and forth to the feeder sucking down syrup as fast as I can fill it. As I sit on the patio, silly chipmunks almost bump into my housecoat as they scoot by. I’m so quiet they don’t realize I’m there as they scamper across the cool cement.

So many flowers are bursting I can’t keep up, flowers my friend Sue, now passed, had given me over the years. As I pull a few weeds around the sweet plants, I also think of sweet Sue with love and remembrance, loving her still as her spirit resides in me, and the plants. 

That’s it. I can’t keep up. Life spins so fast. Here in my home I think I have to go back out, go to a movie, go to the mall, go do this, that or the other. No. Life is bursting right here. It is all happening right here. Stay. Rest. Heal.

Let nature take your hand and guide you. Enjoy this lovely home, with all its humble blessings that you have taken the time to dig into the unforgiving soil; soil I’ve loomed and sieved with sand, manure, topsoil and peat to make the rock hard clay grow things it wouldn’t naturally nurture.

Walk the quiet road. Meditate. Just be. In The color Purple two women walk in a field of purple cosmos and Shug says, “God wants us to be grateful. God gets pissed off if we walk through a field of purple flowers and don’t notice.”

Notice. Suck it up, drink it in, let it be. It’s OK. You’re OK. You don’t have to do anything but learn to love yourself, love your life and take care of you. All else flows from there.

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “STILLNESS

  1. I got to watch a hummingbird hunt for food or water against the front of my apartment building. I would have missed him entirely if someone hadn’t pointed him out. It is peaceful out there, for the most part, and I get to see the male bird going in and out of the birdhouse, bringing twigs to his mate. I can’t wait to start hearing the little peeps, and then to see the tiny little heads poke out of the hole in the birdhouse.

    Like

  2. This is so beautiful.

    I love the dove and chipmunks knowing you are safe.

    How I loved it when Oprah’s character “woke up” at the table. She was back. And when Shug sang “Sister” to her. The music was fantastic.

    I’m in transit this week looking for our new home, but I’ll be checking in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, I was wondering how you were doing or where you were. I have two little basil’s that want to meet you!
      Yes, I was floating in the pool and thought of Sophia, first her head down towards her dinner plate, no appetite for food or life. Then when Celie spoke up to Mister, Sophia ‘woke up’ and said ‘Pass the food down’, smiling and alive!
      Floating like that, looking into the majestic hickory trees, leaves waving in the breeze above me, I began feeling alive too… : )

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, we are waking up like Sophia, alive again. Hooray!

    Hello little basil cherubs!!

    Off I go now into the wild blue yonder. Looking forward to seeing the stars in AZ tonight. Have a fabulous day.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. wow I’m jealous of you getting to be with so many wonderful animals and just being…wish I could do that, it might take me out of the triggered space I am in for days now. I also love the color purple, one of my all time fave movies. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I haven’t walked down to the creek in a week due to gum surgery. Now I sit and there is shade, the leaves popped out in a week. And I hadn’t realized how daily walks and time spent just sitting there comforted me.
      I’m sorry it’s an especially triggered time for you right now. So many things set off my alarm bells, the quiet is so necessary and soothing. I hope you soon find some peace.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s