I read blogs in the morning, sipping coffee, and I know I will never give it up willingly. It reminds me of hard it was and the challenges I have yet to face, and always will.
The sunrise beckons me out to the patio where my flip-flops still lay from the warm, spring play-day with Cindy. There they sit where I slipped out of them to go barefoot, my favorite foot wear in warm weather. This morning there is a layer of frost on them.
But the sun is warm and my bathrobe cozy as I breath deep; a train whistle sounds closer because of the cool, moist air, geese moving, loudly honking, cars in the distance, and birds twittering…
Breath deep. Be still. I’d forgotten.
March teases with its promise of Spring, my impatience hallucinating a shimmer of green on trees where there is none. They stand bare, brown and empty, as dull and dead as the muddy grass.
But there is life underneath. Look close-buds…
I spent an entire day on AIRBNB, almost ready with charge card in hand to book a month in Florida on the Gulf next January. So desperate for green!
Three days drive, or drug myself to fly. And if I’m so stupefied on medication, why not sleep a little longer and go to to St. Croix?
For half of what I was about to pay for Florida, we could have that for a month!
But I won’t fly. (I might try to open the emergency door to jump out!) And I won’t ride three days in a car on fast interstates. Three hours into the Adirondacks is long enough for me, dangerous enough.
Where is my adventuresome spirit?
Inside. I have flown internally. I take great trips, exciting and thoroughly satisfying adventures right from the diving board inside me. The courage and bravery to go deep. To feel. To see what is really there, be in it, pass through it, pass through me. To know oneself or begin the lifelong journey to get to know oneself, is all I need.
From there all beauty arises.
It unfolds from my center, here in my bathrobe in the safety on my patio, under the sun…