It was only ten degrees at sunrise and everything was coated in a glaze of ice. I felt compelled to grab my camera, step out on the patio still in bathrobe and slippers, and try to capture the beauty. It is much more spectacular with the naked eye.
By afternoon the temp hit 40, and after five laps negotiating the crusty snow mixed with ice, I lavished myself with a good soak in the sun down by the creek absorbing it like a dry sponge. A new bird had returned and chirped while snow geese as big as helicopters flew overhead.
Later in the day I found myself mopping floors and realized I hadn’t had the energy to do so in months. My health is returning and for that I am grateful. I may have to continue strong medication to inhibit bleeding for awhile, maybe for life. I just don’t know yet. Taking medications, even if risky, seems a better alternative than surgery once again to rearrange stomach parts, even if the surgeon was so blase about it.
After reading the posts of others, similarities followed me into my dreams. Like learning too early one is on their own. That later in life when help is near, turning inwards tends to be the first response, like when touching a caterpillar, the way they curl up on themselves in defense.
That is what I tend to do until the pot bubbles over and whoever is near hears my overflow, like steam fizzling out till depleted. I have become a much better pot at containment and finding ways to release the steam all on my own. Letting nature hold me is one of them…
Poppy is off to work, Cindy’s little playmate. She must tolerate me, who won’t play hide and seek nor jail. Jail became a favored game after giving William play handcuffs for Christmas in his stocking. Samuel is able to access his inner child quicker and more easily.
But I will put her to work painting eggs and work right beside her. She enjoyed helping me decorate for Easter. After filling the bay window with baskets on gay yellow cloth, we placed baskets on the buffet too, and little glass eggs behind them. She carefully handed me each one proud to be such a big helper.