Beautiful things can happen on Christmas. Forgiveness. And like Scrooge, I can let go of the past and reclaim my true self. I can begin again, with love and forgiveness. I may have to repeatedly do it for myself and others, but I can do it. I speak of being a mother-in-law. Of course my daughter-in-law’s have faults, who doesn’t. And of course, their lives haven’t had the hardships mine have. And I don’t want them to.
It does add to the usual clash, new wife needing their new husbands to cleave only to them, or them first not their mother. Mother, especially a mother who feels their sons are their only family, because she (me) made a conscious decision to separate from the family of origin because being part of it meant being part of a lie, makes this new addition to the family a very hard one to accept.
I made a mess of it. It doesn’t matter that it takes two, or that the other has no understanding of the hardships I’ve faced, it is what I can do to mend the rifts and be loving. And I can. As the bell tolls, as Scrooge finds his heart once again, so can I. I forgive my past mistakes, resentments, and childish behaviors at hanging on. Hanging on to sons only sends them farther away, but in my desperation I did not know.
That’s OK. I am human. I am deserving of a full life. I can let them (sons) go, because they go into the hands and hearts of beautiful, loving, warm women, fully capable of being open and giving because they are not damaged, and I do not wish them to be.
What a lucky woman I am!