Why would I want to connect with ‘her’, the child I was at age 8, 9, 10, 11? I want to be as far away from ‘her’ as possible. Look what she went through? How can I comfort ‘her’ if I don’t even want to be ‘her’? No one else wanted her, cared or loved her. Why should I?

13 thoughts on “THE CHILD FORSAKEN

  1. Why? Because she’s a part of you. Because no one else wanted her, it was their soul agreement to reject her, only then could she learn to fully accept her just as she is. She isn’t what happened to her, she is who she is by how she responded to what happened to her. That darling innocent little girl, so lost, lonely and hurting. Take her dear little hand, wipe those tears from her cheeks with the kiss of your healing lips. Embrace her and hold her tightly and feel all that love emanating and piercing through the darkness with bright loving light. Whisper softly into her little ear how much you love her, how much you will continue to love her and protect her and how much you will be there for her every single day from this point on. She needs to hear it, she will trust you, she’s been waiting a long time for you to come back for her. Her memories won’t be erased, but she will heal and find comfort in how well you can take care of her. She chose you because she believes in you like no other ever has or ever could. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  2. Oh I so get this. I do. The feelings that burble up like vomit when I look at photographs of myself from ages 8-18. Crippled by self-loathing and rage. The rage I felt towards my mom and stepfather but could not express. So instead, I internalized it. Raging at myself. Hating myself. I couldn’t walk past a mirror without screaming at myself. “You are disgusting! I hate you! You are gross!” I would rage and rage and rage at myself. The only person safe enough to hold it for me.

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  3. Oh you are mafnificent! I’m just catching wind of this now. Thank you! I’m sitting at our third doctor’s appointment in two days with sweet Elias who has a terrible stomach bug. Poor baby. I’ll be back for a visit soon and also to re-read your post; I’m looking forward to it and sending love. You brought tears to this weary Mommy’s heart. Thank you! XO

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