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Thought I ought to give you an update. Spent four days in the hospital with an internal bleed. They think it was the anti-inflammatory I was on for my shoulder. I’m home and each day feel a bit better so hopefully no more bleeding.

Have not had the energy to keep up so if you haven’t heard from me that is why. It feels good to be home and slowly able to think and type!

43 thoughts on “POOR ME

  1. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You must have been so frightened and feeling so vulnerable in the hospital. Being under the care of doctors is such a trigger. Will they ever get it right? Will they care for me properly? Can they help me? … I’m just glad you are home. I hope you can rest, be gentle with yourself and give yourself a lot of wiggle room for whatever comes up. No judgement here! Just be kind and loving. And I highly recommend watching some funny, light, distracting movies! Take good care, of yourself, Patricia.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, you got a smile out of me, not easy to do lately.
      It was scary, but I felt as if I received very good care. All my docs are now affiliated with that one hospital. So if they need to know something from another specialty it’s all there on the computer linked, whereas if I went to docs from a competing hospital the info. is harder for them to access. That is quite a nice new system. I hope they can find a way someday to make it all interconnected so people aren’t having tests re-done unnecessarily.
      There are strange goings-on in a hospital, not only in my room but neighboring rooms. When I got home it almost seemed too quiet at first, but I getting back into my routines.
      I do still bat myself in the head for having that surgery years ago, but try to stick to the present and not let my biggest regret of my life pull me back,, down and under. Thank you Jessica…

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      1. šŸ™‚

        I’m glad your care was good and you felt safe and well cared for. Sometimes coming home is hard too. For me it is. I hate the pressure to jump back into normal when I don’t feel normal. Life just goes on and expects you to jump back in ready or not. Don’t push it. Everything will be there today, tomorrow … if you can let it be and just sit and rest for longer and give yourself that grace. Make some cookies šŸ˜‰ That’s the best way to go. Not that it’s easy to actually listen and rest without our negative voice telling us to get our asses up. We put too much pressure on ourselves. My wish for you is that you try not to do that. It’s not worth it. I didn’t know you had surgery. I’m sorry it has complicated things. Be nice to yourself. I’m cheering you on in that department. Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to one of your fellow bloggers! XO

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          1. Well, I caught it. I felt I was so brave in the hospital, closing myself up into a little place to survive. Kinda like a caterpillar. Touch one and it curls into itself. But when I got home, then the tears flowed. I’m doing better now though. Tears are a good release. You are so right! Thank you. Means a lot, your compassion and kindness towards me.

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          2. It is a special and rare thing when someone says that to me. That’s when I dare to test the waters and show my real self, not something I do easily or often. Knowing no matter what someone won’t leave me, is when I can open. Thank you so much for saying that. It’s a big deal.

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          3. Thanks for checking up on me, and noticing my not always serious side.
            I’m plugging along, and remembering all the helpful things said to me online, like ‘baby steps.’
            I did make it down to the creek yesterday and sat in the sun on a 60 degree day. Thanks for dropping by! Hope you don’t mind the decaf cup we shared, I’ve gone fully off the added zing to be gentle to my insides and tend to stay off.
            How are you?

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          4. I love decaf! I’m so glad you made it to the creek. Good for you!

            I’m floundering a bit. I didn’t get to write last week and I really struggle when that happens. I find my resentments start to build and I become more unpleasant to be around. I need this piece of myself so much and I often only have scraps of time. It feels crummy.

            So … I’m striving for this notion of balance that I cling to. Maybe some day I will not have to work so hard for it. Or maybe I just need to let go a bit and not cling. Who knows. šŸ˜‰

            Thank you for letting me know how you are! Keep healing!

            Liked by 1 person

        1. All good advice. I do tire easily, very easily.
          Wow. Don’t say things to myself that I wouldn’t say to others…I do that, so harsh to myself… does that include what I said to a dear friend, that I’m a freak case? (because of the gastric bypass 30 years ago. I just wanted to be NORMAL, which means slim. Didn’t work)

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  2. baby steps, baby steps … we always want the recovery process to move along a bit quicker than it does, but our bodies have a way of taking just enough time as needed. feel better, and glad to hear you’re back home now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, that is so kind of you.
      My labs show improvement…now if I could get some sleep! Unfortunately, so many days of not doing PT has caused a backslide in the progress I was making with my shoulder. But I have an appointment with him Friday and I’m sure he’ll put me back on tract. Thank you for for inquiring and thinking of me. Nice to have friends…: )


  3. Patricia, I had no idea of your plight! I haven’t looked at blogs for quite some time and my own recovery from surgery now puts me in a position to be able to do that–do they call that a blessing? šŸ™‚ But here I am finding out you’ve had a rough go of it–that’s so scary to hear about anti-inflammatories! I have to take high dose on a timer every 4 hours around the clock-yikes! Four days in the hospital–I’m glad you’re home now and recovering! I’ll keep you in my thoughts, sending healing thoughts your way ā¤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a problem with the anti-inflammatory’s only because I had a gastric bypass 30 years ago. And with age something changed and my gut is super-sensitive to them.
      Thank you for your healing thoughts as they pass their way on to each other!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh dear. Well, I hope there is something else that can keep you comfortable. My husband has just had rotator cuff surgery and it required lots of Ibuprofen. Glad you have gotten things under control!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Just saw this. Sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling well. I am glad you are home and resting…..you are resting right? We survivors tend to be a little hard on ourselves and need reminders that it is okay to rest, to heal, to just be and let our the healing process work. Hope each day brings a little more healing.

    Liked by 1 person

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