Do you put all the ramifications of someone else’s actions squarely on your shoulders? How much are you really able to control how a human body reacts to post traumatic stress; especially trauma that goes underground, not addressed in a child because no one wants it acknowledged because of their own shame in the matter and how it makes them look.

A child is critically wounded and no one comes. No one helps. No intervention with the way a brain deals with the sudden impact of life and death situations. Without intervention the child lives a lifetime of struggles and challenges. She wouldn’t had someone intervened, talked to her, let her express her traumas, over and over again, until fully processed, until the brain no longer had to protect her with all the ways it uses, because she now knows it won’t happen again. She’s safe, and protected.

That doesn’t happen. She lives with the feeling of death around every corner, even when she is supposed to be safe in her own home. Her brain becomes hard-wired to emergency because emergency is all it knows.

You can find relief, peace, and calm. It will take time. Be gentle. It’s not your fault. Try not to blame yourself for not making everything work right. I know you will because I’m quick to be hard on myself too. You can be soothed, and learn to self-soothe. Life, jobs, kids, etc. requires so much and adds stress, so it’s hard. But it will come…

(sometimes a comment comes from within worth sharing. Thank you MaggieI have seen this exquisite drawing on another site though I don’t remember the name but thank you…)



  1. Wow – you explained this so simply yet so fully. In my childhood, I was not allowed/able to express what was inside of me in relation to the abuse I suffered. Hell, the abuse was pretty much covered up and I stayed living with my abusers and ended up acting like nothing had ever happened for a long time. Now, as an adult finally dealing with it, I can see how much that affected me and the way I think and see things. It’s all warped and self-defensive. Like you wrote, I am “hard-wired to emergency”. I immediately go to the worst drawn conclusions and generally think negatively. Although, for me I always say I am being realistic, not negative. But those who don’t know or understand my reality just don’t get it.

    I love and am learning from the strength I see in you through your posts. You are truly beautiful my dear!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. PTSD is listed in my problem list at the VA. My therapist(s) have scraped the surface, but not gotten down into anything. I won’t let them. I side-track or I just stop talking, to keep myself. Add military sexual trauma to the list, and there sure is a mess in there….


  3. Hi friend
    How did you get the story of my life? HAHAHA It’s embarrassing child abuse and the damage it creates is still swept under the rug. At 52 I must be get cynical, Child Protective Services did not for me in 6th grade. I don’t think their practices have changed.
    I was fortunate to have the love of my grandparents and exception Probation Officer. What a blessing when people see something in you that you can’t see,
    Thanks for stopping by often, hope you find the topics helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t dream of a day attitudes and laws elevate child abuse, any abuse. I’m a realist, at 52 I haven’t seen much change.
        What I can do is walk with people like yourself, one foot in front of other. I do find myself grieving for a child I see on the news. I’ve written some painful post yet feel telling my story is more important. I have worked thru most of the pain of my childhood. If it’s not getting in the way of how I live, why not share.
        Congrats on the book, I had no idea. I probably did but I only have 50% cognitive ability so I forget a lot.
        Have a great day.


        1. Yes, it’s painful to hear of other children continuing to suffer in the same ways. But I hope for change. I wish I could do more to hasten it.
          I think the venue of blogging opens channels to voice what couldn’t be voiced, and in a big, powerful and safe way. The critical wounds that had to be choked down, bubbling with infection, can be opened, cleansed and exposed to air. The wounds can slowly diminish, talking about what was forcibly suppressed, the antibiotic.

          Liked by 1 person

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