Picture 119

Yesterday was hard. That itchy feeling of loss scratched in my chest all day, like tiny claws scraping to get out. Spring comes with such beauty and joy, yet such loss. I don’t gather with any of my siblings but we do get together with Samuel’s two brothers and wives, one of whom I’ve gotten to know and love since she moved here from California a few years ago.

I miss Mom, though her death was 6 years ago, and I miss Samuel’s Mom. She loved holidays and every Easter had huge baskets, full of chocolates and goodies for my boys, and us. She hung plastic eggs from her tree outdoors. And she never, not once, forgot my birthday which is today.

After our gathering, Samuel and I felt like visiting those gone. We haven’t done it in over a year. I never thought I’d be one to visit grave-sites yet it offers comfort, as if visiting with them. The tears held in fall; always a good thing. I put skewers in plastic eggs and stuck one in the ground at each site– his Mom’s, mine, and his sisters; all three lost around the same time 6 years ago, within a few months of each other. The loss sharpens just as the earth is about to explode with beauty and re-growth.

7 thoughts on “SORROW & JOY

  1. Belated birthday greetings. 🙂

    Holidays, no matter what the season, have a way of dredging up the memories of happier times that have come before, as well as emphasizing the loss of those who have passed from this life. When my in-laws were alive, (and I was still married), every holiday was a celebration, and family came together to enjoy laughter and share stories. After they passed, things began to come apart, and within about five years, there were no more shared holidays, and the stories trickled away.

    I haven’t been to their grave site for years now, but your post had me wondering if maybe I’m long overdue to simply spend some time with them there. I truly do miss them. Especially on holidays.


  2. I’m sorry when holiday represent loss for me. I identify–December is my sad time. But you have a birthday and I hope it feels like the beautiful colors in your picture here! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s