This is a comment left on the site: Your Bipolar Girl It felt important enough to post, and also reminds me of a rare kindness shared at another site this morning on a cold blizzard day— warming me: Sophie at My New Life
The power of belief is irrefutable. Unfortunately the beliefs I have of myself since childhood are that I am insignificant, unworthy, unloved, incapable, and not even a ‘real’ person. So I have a lifetime of work to do, as we all do in our own separate ways.
I have endured many bouts of depression. It makes me much more aware and sensitive to another’s pain. I believe those who have to manage the same or other difficult challenges, also cultivate a deeper and richer emotional depth of understanding towards the pain of others.
My 28 year old son assures me this is so after lamenting to him my failures as a mother because I leaned on him during his growing up years, drawn to his ‘wholeness’ and centered being. This is a portion of a letter he wrote me which I posted previously in its entirety.
“And here I am, and that’s why I am. That’s why I bring empathy to other people. That’s the gift you gave me – a knack for reading the hearts of troubled people.
It’s amazing, how people will pour their hearts out if they can find a single willing receptacle, one outlet; one listener. People are dying to get things off their chests, and I can read it in their expressions, in their habits. No one asks them what’s really going on inside. But I ask. When I offer people a non-judgmental ear, the floodgates open. Finally, says the pained expression on their faces. Finally someone will listen to me about all this shit I’m carrying around day after day after day.
So thank you, for this deep sense of empathy and connection that binds me to other people.
I love you. “
That’s from my son who listened to me though he shouldn’t have had to. And when you’re in pain—that matters, to have just one person who cares, listens and understands. It makes all the difference.
Photo is my grandson under 1 week old, his hand in mine. You can still see flecks of meconium from the birth process.
The letter from your son is beautiful, heart warming, and insightful.
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Thank you. It felt good to read it again. I tear up every time…
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Beautiful – both the photo and the sentiment expressed in the writing. You did well. You loved your son, and raised him to be a loving son to you and a loving father to your grandson.
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It does my heart good to hear you say that.
One minor detail I left out is that my grandson is the son of my other son, the older one by 5 years. Two children was my limit.
My grandson is now 5, and he has a little sister, 2. She is depicted in my post, ‘CHOCOLATE’.
Thank you for stopping by..
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What a beautiful letter, and the motivation behind it. Sometimes there are so many lessons we can learn from our children. True blessings.
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I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone ‘really’ listen to me, or that I could ‘really’ talk to besides a previous therapist and my current therapist. But they are only listening for that 45 minutes or so a week. Actually, right now, due to financial issues due to transportation, it has become every other week, unless I just can’t wait that long and make an earlier appointment.
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Well, a therapist is a good and valuable place. So that’s an asset, and really one of the best places. That is where I developed the capacity to develop a couple of friendships where I could vent and it was ok because I was able to provide something in return they found valuable. You have a lot to offer. It’s reciprocal. Don’t give up in finding that kind of friendship where there’s give and take, because you a lot of to offer to too.
It took me a long time to get there.
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What a heartwarming post! You are so right, everyone needs that one person who will listen and understand. It makes all the pain bearable. Some people are also so good at listening and empathizing. You are that kind of person! Your son sounds like an amazing man. Bless you both.
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He is. Thank you!
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Thank you for sharing the kindness of his words and meaning of having someone so close that cared and grew up beautifully. ..
The picture is priceless grace..
Sending love lisa
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Sounds as if you have an amazing son.
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He is, they both are. Thank you!
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I do think that people who have had challenges have a great deal of empathy and compassion for others. I see how much I have grown in that ability since I had my breakdown, Really now I call it a breakthrough.
What a great letter from the son. Beautiful
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