How can anyone learn how to react to a child who discloses abuse when, as a society, we still put our hands over our ears when the subject arises?
One third of all women and 14% of men have been sexually attacked as children. These statistics haven’t changed in many many decades.
Yes, it’s a subject causing disgust, even nausea. So we don’t talk about it, not in public places, social circles, card games or parties. That needs to change. Like coming out of the closet. I want to come out of the closet and say, “My brother fucked me.”
So what if you don’t want to hear it. Try living it. And too many do keep it inside them because it’s unpleasant for others. But what about the children? If we don’t start talking about it, and talking about it a lot, we cannot stop the cycle; the pain, destruction and harm to our children.
What if your child, grand-child, niece or nephew came to you and said, “Uncle Joe fucked me,” or “Grandpa sucked my pee pee spot,” or “Daddy stuck his thing in me?”
Would you be able to contain your look of shock, horror, and revulsion?
Probably not without previous fore-thought or training. And how do you receive that when the subject is still taboo?
The child absorbs the revulsion and horror into herself instantly. “I am horrible, dirty, disgusting, BAD.” The look that naturally comes from hearing such words out of child’s mouth are immediately internalized within her, and becomes her- her identity and what she thinks of herself. All too often these messages cement into a life sentence, something she may need to work to undo the rest of her life. And, again all too often, she is further victimized by her mother and family who choose not to believe her and don’t protect her from further attacks. If they were to believe her it means facing their own reputations being destroyed. So the child is additionally dumped on with a load that can kill.
I’d like to hear steps on HOW TO REACT TO A CHILD’S DISCLOSURE OF SEXUAL ABUSE on the evening news, Dr. Phil, The Doctors, ANYTHING!
I won’t be satisfied until I do-
(notation -she is used only to make the reading easier. He could also be used as the child who discloses. In addition I would like to explain my use of the ‘F’ word. Besides being just the perfect word at times, to change it to rape would be inauthentic. That was the word I used when I told another brother who I thought would save me. I am sure I did not really know the meaning but it must have been used during the rape for me to repeat it at eight years old. See Chapter 2-EIGHT http://wp.me/p4Qpte-2l These are the words that can come out of a little child’s mouth taught to them by their attackers.)