I swore I’d never take another anti-depressant. I hate putting chemicals into my body and am very sensitive to foreign objects. After trying many doctors over the past ten years, I finally decided to stay close to home and try a man. Of all the females I tried the only one I related to and who also provided good care, left the practice.
So how did this man talk me into trying an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication, not only try it, but the intention is to stay on it permanently just like my Lipitor? Because he looked me right in the eye and listened to me. Because he knows about PTSD and its long term effects when left untreated. I didn’t say I was depressed or anxious, just that I had been in the past. Still, he was sure this would make those neurons in the brain connect because they aren’t and haven’t been since the age of eight when the first brother attacked me, all of which is still blocked out. Must have been bad when at 61, my psyche still won’t allow it to surface.
So why did I allow this doctor to put me on a medication I never wanted to take again? I have had Prozac a few times for short periods because I know depression well like wearing an old familiar coat, and I didn’t like taking it, getting off as soon as possible. Maybe my resistance is partly due to not wanting to need a medication for emotional stabilization. Hey, I’m stable! But he knew and I knew he knew. Life is hard, and it is very hard for me. Maybe too hard. And maybe this will help.