LONELINESS

DSCN3369  Loneliness can kill. Some die from it. My uncle shot himself in the face after his wife died.

I know loneliness, the depths so deep I ran from the feelings, but it found me everywhere…since childhood.

Keeping secrets not mine to keep made me lonely. Not your everyday lonely but a scraping, clawing pain I could not escape from, exacerbated by life events- my children going away to college, a death or any loss.

Telling my story on paper removed the burden. I check my feelings, still in wonder at the peace- it’s peace; highs and lows, but not the swing of emotions that’s hard to ride. Is that nothing in there? No, that’s peace.

I still feel pain over painful things but not the sword of loneliness cutting so sharp I could not sit still. That loneliness evaporated with the written word when I shared my story. I’m not alone anymore. In the process I found…me…inside where I’d always resided but had been too broken to find my way home

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3 thoughts on “LONELINESS

  1. This is amazing. Loneliness. It’s a feeling I know too well. I’m trying to learn to not be lonely, but it’s hard. I’m still trying to find ‘me’. Writing does help, and you have described it so perfectly. This just really touched me.

    Like

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