Picture 025  We’ve lost the backbone of our lives, my husband and I. His Mom and sister, my Mom. And another young person to drugs. Hers wasn’t entirely intentional, though if you’re hooked on drugs, isn’t that a wish not to be here?

Losing people, dying, being the next in line, is just the way things are. Now he and I are what they were, the backbone. Good thing I’ve found mine, quietly there protesting when I don’t listen to the inner whisper that is me. But eventually I do listen, change my mind, say no, say yes, follow through.

God is there within me…it’s just hard to go deep enough to find her. And that’s no surprise really. I was trained not to have a voice in the most hideous of circumstances, where my child’s body was not mine. And I was to love the attackers, not protest and remain silent.

The god I speak of resides in us all. And when I pray, I pray to that which connects all human beings to each other.

Help! Guide me. or Help! for another who needs it.

My ideas are simple, but they are mine.

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